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| The Last Photo. |
After diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer for 3 months. Grandma passed away.
On Tuesday, before we left hospital, mom went over to her bedside and told her that she will be coming back on Friday to visit her again. Grandma opened her eyes very wide and hold mom's hand tightly and mumbled incoherently.
Mom later told me that, she thinks grandma doesn't want her to leave.
But since she got only 7 days leave a year, and seeing that grandma's condition is a lot better compared to the time when she was admitted, she decided that it will be better if she go back first, and come back again over the weekend.
Hope mom will not blame herself for not staying.
...
Sometimes I wonder, I can't really express myself at the side of deathbed.
When my other grandmother (whos closer to me, who raised me) was at her last few breath, I find myself only holding her hand, without shedding tears, or just little bit. She always wanted to attend my wedding. But its just not fated.
A lot of my friends says they think
- I looked like I'm coping it well,
- I'm emotionless/heartless,
Regardless what people think, I just think that,
- Life goes on, need to cherish what's around you more while still can,
- I'm the eldest (guy) grandchild in the family, at least my generation, so I gotta be strong! Instead of crying like no tomorrow. No point.
...
I'm now officially left with just 1 grandparent - Grandpa (mom's side) who is (fully) paralysed now, due to robbery. (Damn the robber! Why the need to hit people in the head so hard until the skull crack, when you are only after the money!)
Its quite sad that both my grandmothers never got the chance to witness their grandchildren get married. Unlike my grand-grandmother who fortunate enough to see her grand-grand-grandchildren, 5 generations!
Still remember last time (when I was in primary school), the grand-grand-grandchild wears red color shirt.
Life. Its like glass, once cracked, it will be hard (if its not impossible) to keep it in shape for long.
Cherish.
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